To my Phoenix area Jalops

"Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole" (Dukie) 09/08/2014 at 13:56 • Filed to: Floods, Work

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27

Be safe out there, DO NOT TRY TO FJORD THE ROADS!!!!

CAR_IS_MI > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 13:58

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How is this beige floating???

William Byrd > CAR_IS_MI 09/08/2014 at 14:00

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Mediocrity floats. Lack of substance is light.

Racescort666 > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:00

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I prefer to fjord by helicopter.

CAR_IS_MI > William Byrd 09/08/2014 at 14:01

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apparently so.

heliochrome85 > CAR_IS_MI 09/08/2014 at 14:02

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turds float to the top.

Rainbow > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:03

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Is this the Prelude from this post? The Taurus with its trunk open is in the same place in relation to it. But in that case, why the hell did all these other cars come out here??

mr_gofast > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:04

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pssh amateurs :P

DailyTurismo > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:05

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It reminds me of how my Oregon Trail games would always end!

Takuro Spirit > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:06

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SOON

m-b-w loves his SUBAROO > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:06

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Free Candy

mcseanerson > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:07

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They all laughed when I bought the Rally Fighter. "When will you ever use it on the street?" they said. Who's laughing now?

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:07

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Save the Astros!

...And maybe the black WRX.

PatBateman > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:10

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Unless, of course you're fjording the road using a Fjord yacht. If so, fjord away.

rhorizon > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:11

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You have come upon a FLOODED HIGHWAY.

You can ford/wait/hire an Indian Guide?

*wait*

The FLOODED HIGHWAY has not receded.

*ford*

YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTERY.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > DailyTurismo 09/08/2014 at 14:11

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Dissing Terry?

DailyTurismo > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/08/2014 at 14:19

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Who is Terry?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > DailyTurismo 09/08/2014 at 14:20

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I hoon, therefore I am > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:21

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Here's hoping the entire west side was washed away. It'll make my trips to Cali much quicker.

TxBrumski > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 14:26

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Looks like that guy Toyota'd the roads. #FjordJoke

DailyTurismo > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/08/2014 at 14:34

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Ahahahahahahahaahahaahaah!!

I feel dumb...but smarter now.

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > Rainbow 09/08/2014 at 14:58

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Not sure. I have family and friends in Phoenix, and when I started seeing FB posts like this:

I started getting worried. We haven't heard anything official here at work, but Arizona doesn't usually ask for Federal assistance. Their Emergency Management department is really robust and very capable of taking care of just about anything. Just a friendly reminder from Jalopnik's Emergency Management guy.

Jayhawk Jake > DailyTurismo 09/08/2014 at 15:09

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I played Oregon Trail a few years ago. I got to the first crossing, which is what you have pictured here I think.

I forded the river. Lost a wagon wheel, two oxen died, 2 members of my party died.

I trundled on. Someone got a disease and died. Ended up being one person, one ox, one wagon. The ox died. I waited for 2 weeks. Some Indians came by and let me buy another ox, then 20 miles later the last member died of disease.

I set off on this amazing journey and died about 200 miles from home because I got cocky and tried to save a couple coins by not taking a ferry.

The Compromiser > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 15:24

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Ba Dum. Ba Dum. BAdumbadumbadumbadum. Danananah! Bumbumbumbumbumbum.

-Freeway Shark

DanZman > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 15:25

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Yeah, Its crazy out there today. I hope I'm driving the Vette today... I hope I make it home.

Charlie Zulu > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 09/08/2014 at 15:48

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Phoenix on the horn here. Our Emergency Management Department is quite robust, however, all of our pumps are designed to move sunshine from one place to another. Water is another matter altogether. In related news: Phoenix PD, in addition to its military-grade urban assault vehicles, purchased a second-hand aircraft carrier from the Dept. of the Navy in August. Just in time, folks.

DailyTurismo > Jayhawk Jake 09/08/2014 at 17:36

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I would NEVER take the ferry. Always chock the wagons and float across even if it looked like 10 inches of depth. However, the real trick was to leave with as many oxen as you could afford (20?), spare axles and a boatload of ammo. Then hunt for food. Good times.

MountainCommand > Rainbow 09/08/2014 at 22:48

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yeah... she is sinking even more!! nooooooooo!!